


BOYS GENERATION

by Anonymous



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, Humor, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-23
Updated: 2015-04-23
Packaged: 2018-03-25 09:50:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3806014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Instead of playing basketball, everyone is really good at singing and dancing while wearing skinny jeans.</p><p>Boyband!AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	BOYS GENERATION

Out of all the them, Kise transitions the smoothest, transferring to Kaijou Media within a month like he planned it. Somehow, he magically manages to renew all endorsement contracts while evading legal charges like a jewel thief. When Aomine hitches a deal with Touou Corp, he's already flying out to the Himalayas for a Kathmandu shoot with Horikita Mai. Aomine never forgives him.

\- ~ - 

“Midorima Shintarou,” Imayoshi smiles, watching him sign the bottom of the page with a flourishing hand, “welcome to Shutoku Music.”

\- ~ - 

Labelmates are a pain Murasakibara thinks, dully watching Masaki-san skim over the introductions, especially when they were either a body-building extra, the translator for chinese period dramas or a darkly sarcastic talk show host. His focus blurs as faces pass. Yosen Network dabbles in everything and the end result is a mixed bag of people who can’t even compete with him on the charts. However, they had an affinity for food commercials and already had his next comeback planned out in formulated steps.

He wonders which one of them can even sing when he’s called to the recording booth for a duet. Walking in, his eyes focus on the box of Pocky: cheesecake flavour, limited edition with a cute guy on the packet. Then the long fingers, the smooth pale arm, and finally the same face as the one on printed on the packet. 

"Hello Murasakibara-kun. I look forward to working with you."

He's in love.

\- ~ - 

Seirin Showdown is a humble corporation, blossoming from the roots of a collective dream between high school friends. With steadfast determination and heart wrenching philosophy, they have a radar for raw talent and passion.

\- ~ - 

Kagami gets scouted while singing in the shower.

\- ~ - 

When Riko inquires about how he is finding things, Kagami grins brightly and replies positively.

She then nods and mentions how management did plan for a duo to be successful in the market. 

"What?"

"How's your partner?"

"What partner? I thought I was a soloist?"

Riko stares pointedly to his left. He looks down. And screams.

\- ~ - 

After a guided mindfulness therapy session, Kagami releases the trap on his mouth. “When did you sign up??!!” he almost yells.

Riko tilts her head, “The same day you did. He was in the room when you signed the contract."

Kagami stares a little harder, Riko coughs. Kuroko blinks back, “We filmed the music video together.”

“WHAT.”

"His fanbase is also larger than yours."

_"WHAT.”_

\- ~ - 

Management quickly discovers the food marketing miracles that is Himuro Tatsuya and Murasakibara Atsushi. With his mysterious, one-eyed smile, Himuro charms into the wallets of every schoolgirl, salaryman, housewife and homosexual. Atshushi wasn't an initial candidate for the venture but Himuro had insisted, bringing him along to the negotiations as a wingman. Even though looks could not kill, glares delivered from an angle of depression over 60 degrees were psychologically eroding.

When sales shot through supermarket ceilings, Yosen realised it was a brilliant solution to Atsushi's diet bills.

\- ~ - 

Sales rocketed through the atmosphere and collided with the International Space Station when Kise Ryouta instagrammed an open packet next to his face.

\- ~ - 

Every other company banned it's idols from consuming advertised goods. In public, anyway.

\- ~ - 

There’s a minor scandal when Kagami Taiga is spotted eating Himuro Tatsuya endorsed butter wafers. Swiftly, an article pops up featuring candid photos with their matching necklaces circled in paint with a pixellated red. Someone's dug up a picture of them as kids with the stunt actress Alexandra Garcia and the blasphemous text is polished off with a ambiguously worded quote from a 'reliable anonymous source' about the nature of their 'relationship'.

It's a minor scandal because it quickly falls out of the interest of reputable media and into the clutches of fangirls. There's another reason.

\- ~ - 

Kagami literally beams when the host asks him about Himuro, not noticing the small sigh that washes through the audience like daisies on a windy day. "We're really close!"

He doesn't notice Kuroko's glare either. 

"Like, we grew up together back in the States and he was the one that taught me basketball along with Alex, so we share a lot of good memories -"

Another collective sigh. 

"Before I came here, we kind of had a break up-"

Someone from the back row started choking.

"...over something silly but fate kinda pulled us together again in Japan. We made up pretty quickly once we found out we were both in the biz and now he comes over to my apartment when he has time and we catch up and play games all night."

A poorly repressed squeal from the front. 

The host jolts her frozen jaw, "And... And the ring?"

"It's a matching set! Himuro gave it to me so that we remember that we'll always be together."

The shameless way Kagami nails every unmentionable in the public relations bible confuses the heck out of the audience until no one actually feels scandalised anymore.

\- ~ - 

It’s an unfortunate day when Kuroko looks over Riko shoulder and asks about “Pun the Radio” on Hyuuga’s schedule. One question lead to a flash of genius rippling through management and finished in a hasty, last-minute rearrangement of afternoon activities, something about avoiding a press conference and cancelling a perfume showcase with Kirisaki Daichi.

“He may not look it but he’s really popular,” assured Hyuuga, pushing his glasses upwards. He is sitting shotgun, eyes forward as if he were a soldier facing an inevitable ordeal, arms crossed and back stiff. “It’s good for publicity.” he finishes.

Afterwards, Kagami clutches his ringing head, palms trying to cup the metaphorical blood dripping out of his ears after consecutive attacks on grammar and vocabulary. “You didn’t tell me his audience was rice cooking aunties and balding businessmen,” he moans, “There’s no way puns can be popular with cute girls. How do you keep yourself from hitting him?”

Both Hyuuga and Riko has turned around by the time Izuki spins around on his chair, stretching his legs from under the table and tugging one pant leg up, revealing a series of shoe shaped bruises on, “Shun’s shins” he declares, proudly.

\- ~ - 

Rakuzan Entertainment is biggest name in the industry, consecutively dominating the charts with pop hits like “Senpai is so Pretty”, "Gomen Gomen", “Run Kouhai Run”, controlling the waves of their success with well placed veterans in dramas, talk shows and variety television. There’s a little rustle in the biz when there’s sightings of a certain red-haired leader walking into their headquarters again after the Teikou Scandal. Rumors begin to fly.

“It’s a reasonable choice,” Midorima nods in an interview, “I look forward to seeing his musical return and I have no doubt Rakuzan will nurture his talent well.” Takao gags. 

Aomine shrugs and his pink haired manager smiles behind him, "Aomine-kun will support his former bandmate from the bottom of his heart." Kagami gags. 

Kuroko Tetsuya is unable to be reached for a comment.

Murasakibara tilts his head, “Akachin.” The reporter nods fervently. “Akachin,” he repeats, pausing. She angles herself forward, pen at the ready, eyes upwards waiting for an answer as his head rolls and blocks out the sun. Opening his mouth, he throws in some candy and walks away.

“Eh,” Kise startles when a fan catches him after a drama shooting. He’s already through 5 autographs and 3 selfies when he replies, “Akashicchii? Who knows.” He pulls out his phone while signing someone’s thigh and furrows his brows, earnestly scrolling, “Did you know, he really liked one of their girl groups back in the day, even knew their dances, hey look!”

Within 2 hours, “Akashi heels” becomes a trending search. 

\- ~ - 

“WHY” Kagami wails, backing away from the man-sized heels Riko dangles from her hand. God knows where she found them. Maybe Kiyoshi’s tranny closet.

“Have you been living under a rock Kagami-kun,” she smiles, saccharine sweet and sugared with the hearts of those lost in this cutthroat industry.

“N-no, maybe, yes. What?”

“We, you must catch the trend before it falls out,” she continues, letting the shoes drift closer to his face.

“Akashi's dance is very popular right now.” a voice explains cooly. Next to his ear.

He staggers back in surprise to see Kuroko at eye level. And then he looks down. To see light blue pumps on the bottom of long pale-

He spins his head to face Riko. “NO."

Kagami starts praying as her mask starts to slip, “Kise Ryouta copied the dance first. Himuro Tatsuya posted 2 hours later. It's been half a day. The time to pluck publicity is _now_.”

He shudders, purging images of long muscular legs in heels from the corners of his mind, “…I refuse to. My dignity….”

Riko huffs out something like, “fuck dignity’ as she gets out the holy iPad of data but Kagami is sure his ears deceived him and he’s 100% sure his eyes are deceiving him too as he sees the shape of one Aomine Daiki snapping his muscles to the chorus of high pitched bubblegum pop. In heels. His form is sharp and powerful and _perfect_ and utterly totally inundated in an aura of _asshole._

“I DIDN’T SIGN OF FOR THIS,” he shouts for a final time as the music starts. Kuroko poses.

**Author's Note:**

> No you really shouldn't underestimate this industry Kagami-kun.
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> This is founded on my blurry memories of kpop back when it was my blood and breath, I'm still fond of it but I look back at myself with hilarity wondering what on earth was I watching. Kudos if you caught the references xD


End file.
